CB chatter amuses, irritates drivers

123rf.com

Article thanks to Jim Sweeney and the RoadPro Family of Brands. Links provided:

There’s something about an open mic and the open road that brings out the crazy in some people.

While it was originally developed as a safety and communications tool for truckers, CB radio was long ago adopted by people – some drivers, some not – for other purposes, including advertising, singing, preaching, arguing and politicking.

While most drivers still rely on their CBs for traffic, weather and radar checks, the often-irritating, non-relevant chatter means many of them keep it turned down or only turn it on when they need it.

But amidst all that chatter, there are a few gems. We asked RoadPro Pro Driver Council members for the most memorable conversations they’ve heard on the CB. Tom Kyrk recounts an argument between two drivers outside Amarillo, Texas.

“One driver was cussing another driver out and calling him various names. The first driver said, ‘Don’t call me that. Call me a moon cricket.’ There was nothing but silence on the radio. Someone asked what the heck is a moon cricket? His reply, ‘I have no idea, but I like the sound of it and that’s what I want to be called.’ Needless to say, it got everyone else laughing and shut the jerk up.”

There was another time when Kyrk’s ride-along got an earful:

“A teacher friend of mine was riding the truck. One day, a few drivers got into a fight on the CB. Next began a routine that would have made George Carlin proud. It was not the F word, it was the MF word. For about 10 minutes straight. They would not go more than 3 words without using MF. It was used as a noun, verb, adjective, pronoun, and I even believe as a color (still not sure how they pulled that off). At first, we were a bit offended. After a minute or two, we were laughing so hard at the absurdity of it. To this day, we still laugh about it. She even ended up taking notes; she was working in an inner city school district at the time and found their use of it impressive in that all the ways it had been used in that conversation were grammatically correct. Evidently, it became a joke at their staff meetings as to how many ways it could it be used in a sentence.”

As a female driver, Joanne Fatta is in a minority and frequently hears chatter from drivers who assume she is a man.

“So the guys on CB were chatting it up about a hot female in a four-wheeler. Trucker calls me on CB to tell me this driver was coming my way. So, once this trucker gets to my driver's window he realizes I'm a lady driver and apologizes for his ‘check this female out’ comment. Then I have one trucker pass me, see I'm female, call to his buddy behind him, tell him about me being female, then his buddy gives me a stare as he passes me. Funny stuff. Normal male behavior.” 

Pro Driver Council member Maggie Riessen said the funniest thing she heard was a trucker and scale operator arguing over which direction to go on a weigh scale.

“The craziest thing I heard was a driver telling ‘did you hear about . . .’ jokes for hours nonstop until I turned my radio off,” said Fred Weatherspoon.

The CB airwaves will always attract people looking for an audience, but drivers who keep their ears on for safety reason can only hope the funny stuff keeps coming through as well.

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